


Star Wars: Reverence

by Valiant_Flamingo_Daiquiri



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Families of Choice, Female Knights of Ren, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Jedi, M/M, Skywalker Family Feels, Some Humor, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, X-Wing(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valiant_Flamingo_Daiquiri/pseuds/Valiant_Flamingo_Daiquiri
Summary: Following the Battle of Exegol, Rey, Finn, and Poe attempt to rebuild their lives, but personal battles continue to rage within each of them: Poe struggles to lead the Resistance in its ongoing fight against the rapidly re-surging First Order; Finn faces difficult questions about his lineage and place within the universe; and Rey is plagued by troubling disturbances within the Force.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Kaydel Ko Connix & Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey & Rose Tico, Leia Organa & Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey & Ben Solo, Poe Dameron & Leia Organa, Poe Dameron & Maz Kanata, Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Luke Skywalker, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	1. Fixing Home

**Author's Note:**

> Literally the first fic I've ever written, so here goes

“The coolant tube on this vaporator is broken again!”, Poe yelled from the tall white structure just outside the Lars homestead, his head and shoulders partially hidden inside its lower half, the insistent beeping of the malfunctioning machine almost drowning him out. 

“Yeah, Rey it’s… it’s making that beeping again!” Finn added, standing a noticeably safe distance from the machine.

“BEEPING….BEEPING….BEEPING,” repeated D-O as he frantically circled the vaporator and Poe. 

“I know! I can hear it from in here!” Rey shouted back. She continued to rifle through the rusted metal container of parts in front of her. Luke’s aunt and uncle had kept an impressive store of spare parts in their workshop, a necessity for a home located so far from the nearest market, but if anything in this room wasn’t too rust-covered or sand-filled to still work, it would be a miracle. She finally located a dusty box of tubes on a higher shelf. They looked even older than the rest of the items in the room, and were for the previous model of vaporators, but some tinkering with the lugnut ends should make them fit. She grabbed a handful from a bin of loose bolts and the small welder Poe had brought in off his ship, and darted back out to the vaporators outside. As she approached, she could see that the vaporator had now begun to billow smoke. 

“Umm...Rey… it’s  _ smoking _ now!!” Finns shouted, sounding increasingly frantic. He now stood right next to the vaporator, attempting to fiddle with something on the outside. 

“BEEPING….BEEPING….SMOKING….SMOKING….SMOKING” D-O chanted, stopping every few rotations to check whether the vaporator was still smoking, then resuming his rapid course with increased urgency. 

“Yes, thank you D-O,” Rey said as she finally reached the small droid. 

“What? No ‘Thank you Finn?’”, Finn said in mock indignation, “I’ve been here. Sharing crucial vaporator updates same as him. And I have more to lose if this thing blows!”

“It’s not going to blow,” Rey reassured him, fitting a bolt onto both ends of the tube. 

“Rey! I really need that part now!” Poe yelled from inside the vaporator. 

“Here”, she replied, handing him the modified coolant tube. 

“Thanks,” he said, disappearing back into the machine. He reappeared a few seconds later. “Wait, what is this thing? Did you  _ weld _ a lugnut onto this?” 

“Yes, I needed to modify it to fit this model”

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose. “You applied direct heat to a pressurized tube filled with coolant??”

“What else was I supposed to do? And it was safe as long as I kept the heat on the very ends,” she shot back. 

“Do you even know how dangerous that is??” Poe yelled.

“Of course I know! We were fine! I wouldn’t have let it explode!”

“Oh sure, I’m over here waist deep in a machine that’s on the edge of exploding, but let’s blow up a coolant tube just add to the fun!”

“Hey, you said this vaporator couldn’t explode!” Finn shouted at Rey accusingly. 

“I never said it  _ couldn’t _ explode, I said it  _ wouldn’t  _ explode. Because I was  _ safely _ modifying the coolant tube to fix it,” Rey added with a pointed look in Poe’s direction.

Poe rolled his eyes. 

“STILL SMOKING….STILL SMOKING….STILL SMOKING!” shouted the little droid as he repeatedly bumped into Poe’s leg that rested on the ground.

“Alright! Alright! I’ll put the death trap into the smoking machine…” Poe said with exasperated resignation, disappearing back into the vaporator.

“Death trap??” Finn asked.

“It’s not going to explode,” Rey reassured him.

“It might!” Poe yelled from inside the machine.

Finn looked back and forth between Rey and the half of Poe still visible outside the vaporator. “Is it too difficult to ask that a man be given the realistic chance of explosion at any given moment?”

“There,” Poe said. A small click sounded from inside the vaporator. The beeping stopped suddenly and the smoke slowly began to dissipate. 

Poe pulled himself out of the vaporator. “I’ll take my welder back, thanks,” he said, holding his hand out to Rey. She placed the small tool into his hand.

D-O did a tiny circle in the sand at Pope's feet. “All gone….T-T-Thank you,” he said to Poe. 

“You're welcome, little guy,” Poe replied. He held up his hand as a gesture of thanks. The small Droid was still wary of most humans and refused to be touched unless absolutely necessary. 

“That’ll hold us for a week or so, but we need to go into town to get the correct size tube,” Rey said. She decidedly left out what would happen if they didn’t replace the old tube in the machine within a week. Finn seemed anxious enough as it was. 

In truth, they were all on edge. 

Even though Palpatine had been defeated on Exegol, the fight to dismantle the First Order wasn’t over yet, and Poe was still grappling with the responsibility of running the Resistance in the wake of Leia’s death. With most of the First Order’s senior leadership among the dead at Exegol, the Order was quickly rebuilding its command structure. The First Order was a massive corporation, and all bureaucracies of its size had a ready stack of ambitious recruits ready to claw their way to the top amidst a power vacuum such as this. Rose Tico and Lt Connix were running intelligence from Ajan Kloss to monitor these movements within the Order and sending daily, sometimes hourly, updates to Poe via holo. He had been splitting his time between Ajan Kloss and Tatooine over the past 2 months, and the constant stress was quickly wearing on him. He talked constantly and was increasingly prone to snapping at anyone who even who even looked in his direction.

While Poe grew louder and more frantic in his anxiety, Finn had grown uncharacteristically quiet, and often seemed lost in thought. Rey guessed that he was likely thinking of Jannah and his fellow rebel stormtroopers. Jannah and a handful of ex-stormtroppers had flown off from Ajan Kloss with Lando after the Battle of Exogol to find their original families. Although Lando had offered to take Finn along, Finn had declined, which Rey couldn’t understand. Finn worked hard every day on Tatooine and joked in his normal lighthearted manner, but Rey often caught him staring out at the horizon when he thought no one was looking, and she couldn’t help but think that he regretted declining Lando’s offer.

BB-8 rolled out from Poe’s  X-Wing t hat sat in front of the modest homestead, emitting a series of rapid beeps. 

“Gotta go. Incoming message from Lt Connix,” Poe said as he grabbed his jacket off the nearby outer wall of the house. He followed BB-8 into his ship.

“We should get started on making something to eat,” Finn said, gesturing to the lowness of the suns in the sky.


	2. Night Air

Tatooine always seemed more alive just after the suns had set than it did in the light of day. During the day, the heat often kept people inside and it warped images on the horizon to make all visible life in the distance seem far away. Animals sat fat and warm in the day’s heat, unmoving for hours on end, but the setting of the planet’s twin suns forced them to stretch their limbs and seek out shelter for the night. True nightfall had come about an hour ago, and Rey sat a small distance from the Lars home, propped against an old speeder that she'd been working to fix up. She leaned her head back against the speeder’s rusted metal and took in the sounds of the desert night that reminded her so much of growing up on Jakku. Small dune lizards skittered across the cooling sand as rock beetles burrowed below them to await the return of heat in the morning. In the distance, she could hear light scraping against rock, likely a family of dewbacks finally leaving their coveted rock position from that day or a farmer on his way home late from town.

Tonight, like so many nights recently, Rey could also hear the distant chatter of Poe receiving intelligence from the Resistance on Ajan Kloss. It sounded like Rose’s voice on the other side. She turned around and could see the cockpit lights of his ship illuminated in the distance. They were still working to clear sand out of the Homestead, so Poe had been taking all incoming holos in his X-wing. He sat with his head rested against one hand, lifting his head every few minutes to speak emphatically and gesture with his hands. This call had been going on for 2 hours. Such long calls usually meant he’d need to fly back to Ajan Kloss in the morning. 

She stood, picking up her staff. It had become a nightly routine for her to continue working on her Jedi training. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, trying to close out all the sounds of the night air around her. She took in a deep breath - In….Out….In….Out…..In On the fourth exhale, she stepped forward with one foot and began moving through the forms that Luke and Leia had taught her, keeping her eyes closed. She felt the cool night air move against her arms and face. She concentrated on placing her feet and arms exactly correct, not an easy thing in the sand. Once she had gotten into a steady rhythm, she brought her focus back to her breathing, and allowed herself to once again take in the sounds of the night. She listened to the whistling of her staff as it moved through the air, the soft crunch of her shoes against the cool sand, the distant scuffling sounds of animals moving in the night. 

Once again, the memories started to seep into her mind...

....She lay in a sea of black, no ground visible beneath her. The stars stretched out in every direction. A faint, white beam seemed to arch above her. And the voices...They spoke as though she weren't there, as though she was listening in on someone else’s memories. And then Ben’s face appeared before her... 

She opened her eyes briefly, forced herself to count to 5 to bring her concentration back. She took in a deep breath and returned to her movements and the sounds of night air around her. 

As she let her concentration wander out into the desert night, she felt the temptation to open herself to the Force creeping over her being with every move. And, as she had every night, she resisted. She wasn’t cutting herself off from the Force like Luke had done, not really, she was just…..hesitating. She couldn’t bring herself to reach out. What if the Force felt different after Exegol? What if the Dark Side called out stronger to her now that she knew she was Palpatine’s granddaughter and had faced him? What if she wasn’t able to resist it?.... What if - 

A sound broke her concentration. She turned to see the lid of Poe’s x-wing rising back near the house. Poe climbed out, moving slowly. Even from this distance, he looked exhausted. Finn came out of the front of the house, jogging toward Poe. Rey watched from a distance as they met under the orange lights of the halogenerators out front, and exchanged words that she couldn't hear. Poe’s head fell forward, his hands on his hips. He really was exhausted. Finn reached out and put a comforting hand on Poe’s shoulder. Poe’s head lifted and they held each other's gaze for a minute, Finn’s hand still on his shoulder, their bodies unmoving in the dim light. Rey felt like she should look away. She hadn’t told either of them about her kiss with Ben, and it felt wrong to spy on their privacy when she was so closely safeguarding her own.this wasn’t the first time she’d caught such a moment between the two of them since they’d all come home from the battle. 

D-O rolled out from the front of the house, nudging Finn’s shin and looking up expectantly. Poe and Finn still stood frozen in the soft glow of the Lars modest generators, and it took a few seconds before they noticed D-O. Finn looked down at the tiny Droid, his hand lingering on Poe’s shoulder then falling away reluctantly. 

Rey picked up her hooded cloak and began to walk back towards the house. As she came within hearshot of the group, D-O had turned his attention to Poe. “D-D-Dinner…..On table.” They had saved a plate for Poe, and Finn must have set it out on the table when he heard the X-wing door open.

“Are you learning to cook now little guy?” Poe asked the Droid.

D-O stared up at Poe for several seconds before saying “J-Joke….No cooking p-p-protocol”

Poe chuckled and walked down into the house, waving for BB-8 to follow him. 

Inside the house, they settled in to the table Nook. Poe took a few bites of his dinner before starting to talk.

“It’s not looking good,” he said simply, taking another bite.

Finn stared at him from across the table, his eyebrows knitted in concern. “Yeah, we sorta figured that much from the length of the call.”

Poe kept eating without looking up. His mind seemed far away. Likely he was ruminating over whatever new intel Rose had given him earlier. 

He let out a sigh, “I need - “

“ - to go to Ajan Kloss tomorrow?” Finn finished for him. 

Poe looked up across the table at Finn. They shared another silent moment together, their expressions communicating something that Rey couldn’t understand. 

“Yeah,” responded Poe. “I was hoping you’d come with me this time.” Something about his tone made it clear he was talking to Finn, and Rey, not for the first time, felt like she was spying on a private conversation. There was a pause as he looked back down at his plate. He picked more food up with his fork but didn’t raise to take a bite. “I need someone to help me understand all this. You used to be in the First Order.” 

Finn’s face showed a mixture of tenderness and serious concern. “Poe, you know I'll go with you. What can help you with?”

Poe looked up from his plate. “Who is Scora Madar?”


	3. The New Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all for the kind words :) Hope you're still enjoying this
> 
> RIP to Zorii, you're a true badass character and I love your outfit, but I just don't have time to fit you into this story, and I don't need any more barriers between Finn and Poe on top of the ones the sexists at Disney have already placed there. So, BIG shout-out to Zorii, hope you're kicking ass out in the galaxy with Babu Frick. Godspeed, love the helmet
> 
> Also, please forgive my usage of tags. Some of them may change as the story progresses. I'm still learning how to use them

Poe sat inside the command tent on Ajan Kloss, peering out at the camp through the tent’s open doorway. Even though two months had passed, much of the base still looked the same. The First Order hadn’t died with Kylo Ren, and so the Resistance couldn’t either.

People bustled about, some moving between ships on their way to complete their work, others huddled in small groups around maps or leaned against supply carts on a much-needed break. The continuous pace of the place never ceased to amaze Poe, but there was still much work to be done and, luckily, there were good people here willing to do it.

The command tent was a sizable square shelter with a table at its center, which, at the moment, held a single comm unit and a series of holomap projectors, all turned off for the time being. This Intel briefing was political in nature, and so the more technical aspects required of troop movement planning weren’t necessary. An odd assortment of chairs and stools stood around the tent at random, items that were constantly shifted throughout the camp as needed. Finn stood in the corner opposite Poe, his arms folded as he studied the table with a look of determination. Poe smiled to himself. Finn had come with no information other than the knowledge that Poe needed him, and now he stood here, before the briefing even started, staring at a table with nothing but blank tech on it, and yet he looked ready to take on the whole universe.

Poe needed him here. He needed _this_. He needed Finn’s determination. Finn never wavered when he felt his friends were in trouble, and Poe desperately needed to gain the same resolve. He'd been working alone for so long. His instincts weren't tailored to leadership. His instincts told him to fly in alone with all guns firing and to run when plans failed, to save himself and do what was best for him with no regard for anyone else. Leia had taught him the importance of putting others first, but he was a very different person than the General had been. She was a thinker, an even-handed, rational woman who stopped to consider all the contingencies of her plans and their impact of those around her before she made decisions. Poe wasn't like that. He was a fighter, and his temper dictated his actions more often than he cared to admit. In that way, he and Finn were the same. Finn rushed into the fray as quickly as Poe did with no time spent thinking about his actions. The difference was that Poe did it for himself. Finn did it for others. That's why he needed Finn here.

He continued to look at Finn, who remained too focused on his own thoughts to notice Poe’s attention. Poe studied his face, taking in the expression of his eyebrows, which sat above eyes that could never truly be rid of their kindness, no matter how much stress he was under. In the shifting light that filtered in through the trees of the green planet and drifted through the doorway of the tent to land on Finn’s determined expression, so familiar to Poe, he looked… beautiful. Poe found himself transfixed. His breathing slowed, and he felt a deep sense of calm drift over him. These moments had become more frequent since they returned from Exogol, and he felt almost guilty thinking about Zorii. She had been in love with her once. But their time together on Kijimi was so long ago, and even speaking to her after Exogol had felt strange, like he was trying to recapture someone he used to be. But Finn was here now in the present, and he felt...right. Poe swallowed hard, realizing he had been staring, and he tried to make a point of looking at his boots to recover.

Commander D’Acy walked quickly into the tent. Finn shifted from his rigid stance as if coming out of deep thought and looked up at Poe, giving him a reassuring smile. Poe smiled back and they held each other's gaze for a moment. Poe’s heart beat slowly - once, twice. He quickly turned his attention to Rose and Lt Connix, who were entering the tent behind the Commander.

Finn hugged Rose. The smile faltered from Poe’s face. “You still keeping this place straight?” Finn asked her with a friendly smile.

Rose's face held a look of sadness, but she chuckled and gave a Finn a mocking look of severe determination. “As straight as a the edge of a Falleen Fury’s battle port”

Finn tilted his head to the side, “...what??”

Lt Connix peered over Rose’s shoulder. “Ignore her. She’s been at the datapad too long studying the Order’s new ships.”

Connix’s comment brought Poe’s attention back to his conversation with Rose the night before. All of it had focused on her new intel regarding the movements of what they’d deemed the New Order. If the Order was building new ships, then they’d recovered much faster than Poe had anticipated. This didn’t bode well at all.

Maz Kanata shuffled into the tent last. “Sorry everyone, last track of time on Takodano last night.” Finn raised his eyebrows at Poe, and they tried not to laugh at one another across the table. Maz gave no further explanation, and Poe would be damned if he asked for one.

Maz set a hand on Poe’s arm as she walked past, “How are you, my boy?” Poe felt his heart tighten. With Leia gone, Maz had become the source of aged wisdom in the camp, and sometimes her actions reminded him too clearly of the General.

Poe gave a tired smile, and said, “We’re all better now that you’re here Maz.”

“As it should be!”, she joked. “Alright, now don’t get too soppy over an old woman,” she said, settling into a chair next to Poe, “Let’s get this thing going.”

Commander D’Acy looked at Poe, and he nodded to her to begin.

The Commander leaned forward on the edge of the tent’s central table, and started, “As you know, we’ve been tracking the First Order’s shifting power structure in the aftermath of Exogol. A bureaucracy so large is not easily defeated by the death of a few central leaders. The political games within the Order have grown fierce. With new reports of murder and rumors of secret meetings everyday, it’s been incredibly difficult to determine the path the Order will take, but our intel believes that the current frontrunner for Supreme Leader, or whatever they’ll call the position in this New Order, is Scora Madar.”

“Who is he?”, Maz asked.

“She”, Finn corrected her. All in the room turned to look at Finn. “Scora Madar was one of the Knights of Ren,” he continued.

Maz cut in, “But I thought they all died on Exogol?”

Commander D’Acy responded, “As did we, until her name started appearing in our reports. Turns out she was much smarter than the rest of the Knights, or perhaps just more humble. You see, people seem to forget, but before Kylo Ren was Kylo Ren, he was Ben Solo. The last of the Skywalkers, a Jedi prodigy. When the Knights were sent to Exogol to defeat Ren, Scora knew they didn’t stand a chance against him, and so she stayed behind. I doubt it won her much favor at the time, but it turned out to be the smarter move in the long run, and she’s been fighting her way slowly to the top ever since.”

Poe stood and looked at the room, trying to sound positive, “Alright, that doesn’t sound too bad. Now we at least have a name for our enemy. And we’ve fought Ren and his Knights before. We will do it again.”

Commander D’Acy and Rose shared a concerned look. Rose stepped up to the table, and hesitatingly began, “There’s more.”

He shouldn’t have spoken so quickly. They wouldn’t have called him here for such an easy message. He should have figured there was more. He was acting too rashly again. He needed to think! Why had Leia put him in charge of the Resistance? Certainly any one of these women could have done a better job. But Leia had chosen him, and he wouldn’t tarnish her memory by questioning her decisions. All he could do was focus on the task at hand and work harder to follow her example. He sat back down.

Rose was looking at Poe, her expression a mix of nerves and expectation. He realized she was waiting for him to ask her to go on.

“Tell me what you know,” he said gently. He tried to embody Leia’s calm poise, but it felt like a poor imitation.

“Scora appears to be running on a somewhat… radical campaign.” Rose shot a glance at Finn then quickly looked down at the table. She continued, “She is sort of an oddity. Her parents were both civilian casualties in a battle on Cresul between Sith cultists and remnants of the Jedi order. Many people on the planet blame the Jedi for instigating the fight, and the star system to this day remains unfriendly to Force users. She ended up at Luke Skywalker’s temple as an orphan with Force sensitive abilities, rejected by her own people” Rose glanced around the room, her eyes lingering on Finn a beat longer than the rest. She took a breath and continued, “It seems that Scora is using that heritage as a campaign platform. Many within the Order have begun to blame Kylo Ren for the disaster at Exogol, and she’s been capitalizing on that hatred, denouncing the Force as an unnecessary evil.” There was another pause, and Poe could sense that she was finally getting to the part she’d been preparing to say. “Given their diminished numbers after the loss of the ships on Exogol, the First Order, or I should say New Order, has instated mandatory conscription of all children. When the children are of age, they are tested.” Rose took another deep breath. “Any child that shows signs of Force sensitivity is killed.”

The silence in the room was heavy. Taking a radical stance against the Force was one thing, but killing children? This was beyond anything they had faced against Kylo Ren’s First Order.

Poe immediately looked at Finn. His hands were clenched into fists, and he breathed heavily. His face showed that same expression of determination, but now it was intensified into a dark mask of pure hatred.

“I want in,” Finn said fiercely, “Whatever you’re planning, I want to be there.” He turned to Poe, “We can get a team together, fly in tonight and take her out”

“Finn, slow down -” Poe began.

“We can’t let her do this!”, Finn shouted. “Do you realize what this means? This means hundreds, possibly thousands of innocent children are at risk of being murdered!” Although he hadn’t said it, there was a clearly implied “children like me” behind his words.

Poe spoke up in a calming voice, “Commander D’Acy and Maz can start formulating a plan. If we rush in there without more information and get ourselves killed, then we’ll be no help to any children”

Finn still breathed heavily, but he seemed placated by Poe’s words. Finn nodded slowly, looking directly at Poe, “Alright. I’m with you.”

Despite the dark nature of the conversation, Poe’s heart skipped a beat at the words. He turned to the rest of the table. “Connix, work with C’ai Threnalli at the comms to put together as much information as you can on Scora’s possible location and abilities. Rose, I want you to put together a briefing on the New Order’s ships, particularly which ones Scora favors. Commander D’Acy, Maz, and I will await your information to formulate a plan in 2 days’ time. Finn, it looks like we’ll be staying here longer than I intended. Are you able to make a trip back to Tatooine for supplies?”

Finn looked disappointed at the request, but he nodded.

Poe looked at the faces around the table, all of them dear friends. He would have given anything to take the fear and sadness from their eyes. “Alright, let’s get to work.”


	4. In Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tosche Station will be visited!! And power convertors will be purchased!!!!

Rey closed up the exhaust hood of the old speeder and stood up. It looked like the machine would finally be ready to run. Well, run as far as town and back. Hopefully. She dusted off her hands and set her staff into the back of the rusted green speederbed. She didn’t know why she continued to carry the thing around. Her lightsaber sat snug in her belt, and the staff seemed an unnecessary addition in comparison, but old habits died hard, and the staff had become more for comfort than protection. 

She glanced back at the house, then looked down at D-O, who had been waiting happily at her side.“Alright, D-O, you’re in charge for the morning. Keep an eye on the place,” she said to the tiny droid, giving an affectionate nod in his direction.

“Y-y-yes”, replied D-O. He zoomed toward the house authoritatively to begin his sentinel. A few feet from the front door, he zoomed suddenly toward a rock nearby, scaring away a sand lizard that had been resting there. “Intruder e-eliminated,” he said, rolling into the house. 

Rey smiled to herself and climbed onto the speeder. The ride to Anchorhead and Tosche Station was an easy one, but long, and she arrived at the marketplace just after the suns were at their zenith. 

The market wasn’t colorful, but it was lively. The buildings were all the same beige rock that dominated the planet. They sat at odd angles from one another, as though the city had not been planned at all and had instead sprung up one structure at a time, each built with no regard for those around it. Banners and ropes of green, brown, and tan were strung haphazardly between the buildings, creating a maze of clothing, flags, shop signs, and advertisements, which fluttered in the desert wind and provided scattered shade to the people walking below. 

Rey parked her speeder on the outskirts of the market and began making her way to the left, toward the Station. Given the haphazard nature of the buildings, the marketplace was less a giant square than a network of streets, which looped and intersected at random. THey’d had to come into town a few times before for supplies and the like, otherwise she would have had no idea where to go amongst the maze of criss-crossing streets. Ducking under a low-hanging wash line, she walked past tables filled with an unimaginable array of linens, foodstuff, maps, and assorted baubles. The shopkeepers called out to her, trying to sell their wares. 

“Jogan fruit for you today, my girl?” one yelled to her, with his hand outstretched. 

“No thank you,” Rey replied. Her eyes scanned the tables as she passed. This market was small and dingy, but it was more exciting than anything she’d had on Jakku. Poe and Finn always seemed to find the place rather boring, but the child in her delighted at the sheer volume of things available to buy. Without Poe there to grumble about the market, she decided to slow her pace and take in the goods on her way to Tosche Station. 

A table just ahead held an assortment of maps and other small projectors. Rey stepped up to admire a large holomap that sat at the center of the table, clearly the seller’s most expensive item. It showed the Octanis System in intricate detail. The planets of the system all spun on their tiny axes. Rey stared up at small orbs of oranges, light blues, deep greens, and stark whites. The celestial dust of space and tiny pinpricks of light floated between them as they made their orbits around the great blue star of Yaon. The projection of the map was much taller than her, and she took another step closer to stare into the intricate holo. Next to the vivid colors of the planets, the empty space between them felt incredibly dull and hollow by comparison. It seemed to take on the deep blackness of true space in a way that other holomaps could never accurately achieve. Staring into this blackness, her mind began to drift, the memories of Exogol that plagued her, though she wasn’t sure if they were real of a dream, came at her suddenly 

She was back there again -  _ A darkness deeper and more luminous than space surrounded her...A feeling of quiet anxiety pervaded the place...Someone whispered in the distance, words she couldn’t make out...The sky above her was filled with lines of pure white… They were too bright, and she closed her eyes...She opened them again and Ben sat staring at her…  _ \- 

Her eyes shot open. She hadn’t meant to think about him. She spent every day since Exogol trying  _ not _ to think about him. Her thoughts about Ben were too muddled. He existed outside of her normal life, and she didn’t know where to place him. The happiness she had felt on Exogol when she first sensed his presence, when they’d turned to face Palpatine together, when they’d kissed, was hard to grasp now two months later. The memories of it fought against the lingering anger she held from the years they’d spent as enemies. And over all these emotions lay an indistinct feeling of loss. Whatever he had been to her, he was gone. 

A sound up the alley stole her attention. A silver protocol droid had accidentally knocked over a bin of some kind of red fruit, and a large female creature with twisted ears was yelling in a language Rey didn’t understand as the fruit scattered over the crowded street. One rolled to land at Rey’s feet, and she stared at it for a minute, still trying to bring her thoughts back to the present. She picked it up and pocketed it as she stepped into the next walkway. The Station came into view up ahead as she turned another corner. 

Finally, she reached the squat building that was Tosche Station and stepped into the cool air inside. She walked up to the parts counter. An old Iktochi man sat at a stool behind the counter and fiddled with a rusted vaporator valve. Rey perused the table, taking note of several expensive-looking compressors, which lay next to a bin of power convertors. Any one of those alone could have fed her for a week back on Jakku. 

“I used to sell a lot of those,” the Iktochi man said, pointing to the power convertors. “Not much demand for them these days.”

Rey picked one up. The house still held a lot of old tech that needed convertors like these. “I’ll take one,” she said. “I’m looking for a coolant tube. Gur’Veen 3 model” 

The Iktochi man moved off the stool with a grunt and shuffled into the store room behind a tattered curtain. He returned in a moment with the tube. Rey paid for the items and made her way back to the speeder. 

On the ride back, her mind kept returning to Ben. Why had she kissed him? And why had she still not told Finn and Poe? She wasn’t hiding it because she was ashamed. In truth, she didn’t know how she felt. At the time, it had felt right, like they had always been destined to end up there, but looking back, it seemed less certain. She kept it to herself because she wasn't sure  _ what _ it had meant. So much of her relationship with Ben had been undefined, two people exploring a bond which had never existed before, a mess of abilities and emotions within which they were tangled together. She couldn't expect Finn and Poe to understand the bond, to forgive a man who'd been at the forefront of the death of so many allies and friends, not when she couldn't understand it herself, and not when she herself didn’t know whether he deserved to be forgiven. Who was Kylo Ren, and who was Ben Solo? And where were the rest of them supposed to stand between the two? 

By the time she returned to the homestead, the suns were already getting low in the sky. D-O rolled out of the house, zooming an affectionate circle around Rey’s feet as she grabbed her staff from the back of the speeder. She gave him a smile, and looked out at the horizon. The sky was already beginning to turn orange in the setting suns. Despite the work that needed to get done, she sat down in the sand next to the speeder.

She pulled the fruit out of her pocket and held it, turning it over in her hand. Were her memories of that dark place even real? Why couldn't she let herself think about Ben? Why did she hesitate to reach out to the Force? Somewhere inside she knew it was fear. Still that same fear of her own abilities, her own mind. She was Palpatine’s granddaughter. She had his powers. What if she had his evil and hatred too? When she trained with Luke, she could see the fear in his eyes when he’d admonished her for reaching immediately to the dark side. It had called to her. She couldn’t risk that happening again. And what of Ben? He’d been through the sam struggle, but she’d never get to ask him now. If she opened herself to the Force, what if he was there? Or worse - what if he wasn't? There was so much he could have taught her. So much she could have told him. 

Sitting alone in the fading light, she let herself cry without questioning her feelings. The fear of her own powers, the way Finn had looked at her when they thought she’d killed Chewie. The realization that she had a grandfather, that he was evil, and the strange, twisted grief at his death. And Ben. It was a loss she didn't understand and didn't want. It was something that Finn and Poe wouldn't understand, and so she cried alone. 

“Sad,” D-O as he looked up at Rey. “W-why?”

Rey looked back out at the horizon. She didn't know how to answer, so she looked at the tiny Droid and gave a small smile. “I lost someone,” she said. 

“Go find them,” replied the small droid. 

Rey laughed, wiping away her tears. D-O made it sound so easy.

She sat up suddenly. Familiar lights were approaching in the distance, and she stood, quickly wiping her face. She walked back toward the house as the x-wing landed. Finn climbed out alone. Whatever they had learned on Ajan Kloss, it was serious enough that Poe couldn’t return with him.

“Is it that bad?” Rey asked him.

The look on Finn’s face shook her. His eyes held a sadness that she’d never seen in them, and his whole body seemed tense, like he was preparing to fight at any moment.

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. “Let’s go inside and sit down.”

Rey and Finn sat in the table nook inside the homestead. A soft white glow and perpetual buzz emanated from three of the four lights overhead. The fourth didn't work, and they'd given up on trying to fix it after the 3rd attempt. 

Finn sat for a moment, staring down at the table. He looked to be bracing himself to speak. He looked up at Rey suddenly, “Will you train me? To be a Jedi?.” He spoke fiercely, and she could tell that he’d been ruminating on these words during his flight back to Tatooine. Whatever had happened on Ajan Kloss had shaken him. He’d never before shown interest in exploring his Force powers. But the fire behind his eyes now showed that he was ready to fight, and he wanted every available weapon at his disposal. 

Rey reached out and placed her hand on top of his arm. She hesitated, but the earnest look on his face made refusing him impossible. “Of course, I will. Although I don’t know how much I can teach you. I never got a chance to finish my training.”  _ And I don’t know whether it’s safe for me to lead anyone into the Force _ , she added silently to herself. 

He continued to look at her, saying nothing more. She would find a way to help him, no matter what her reservations were regarding her own powers. Luke had trained her while completely cut off from the Force, so it could be done.

“Finn, what happened on Ajan Kloss?” she asked with urgency. “What did you learn? Why couldn’t Poe come back?”

Finn stood up from the table suddenly. He paced in the open space of the home’s central atrium. “The New Order. They…” he ran a hand through his hair. He slowed his pacing, took a breath, and continued, “One of the Knights of Ren is still alive. Her name is Scora Madar. She’s conscripting every kid in the galaxy and testing them for Force sensitivity,” he said, finally turning to look at her. “Rey, they’re killing them.”

The horror of the words struck her through the chest. No wonder Finn was so shaken. No wonder he wanted to train, to fight. This was something beyond all of them. This demanded drastic action, no matter the cost.

Finn continued suddenly, talking rapidly, “They’re running intelligence to find out more about her now, but there isn’t much. She seems to have stayed in the background before now, always in the shadow of the rest of the Knights. Rose and Poe are doing the best they can, but we have no idea who she is or what she’s capable of,” he said with exasperation. “We don’t know how to defeat her. We don’t know - ”

She wished the thought hadn't occurred to her. But it had. Nothing but the sincerity of Finn’s distress could have given her the strength to even consider the idea. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them, “Ben would know.”

Finn stopped mid-stride and turned to her. “Are you talking about Kylo Ren?” Finn asked, confused, ”You mean his Force ghost? Why would he help us?”

Rey stared at him for a moment in silence. She spoke slowly, “Finn there are things I didn’t tell you about Exogol.”

His face changed to a look of concern. She realized it was concern for her, and the guilt about keeping secrets from him rose up in her throat. He had stopped pacing and stood staring directly at her. “Well, tell me now,” he said gently.

She paused. “He finally turned, Finn, like I saw in my vision so long ago,” Rey began. “He didn’t come to Exogol as Kylo Ren. He came as Ben Solo. He came to fight  _ with _ me. Because I asked him to.”

Finn’s face darkened. “Rey, I don’t trust him. You thought he turned before...”

She interrupted him, “He gave his life for me.”

This took Finn aback, and he looked at her in silence. His face was unreadable, but she doubted that he fully believed her. The next part was hard. The words felt silly, like they were children sharing secrets. She looked down, “I kissed him.”

Finn didn’t react. He stared at her a moment longer, then nodded his head once and looked off into the distance. Something about her words had not surprised him, but she could see that they pained him nonetheless. He stood in silence a moment longer, one hand moved to rest on the blaster at his belt, and he seemed to come to some internal decision.

He looked back up and took a step toward her. His words came out with difficulty, “Do you think he would help us?”

“Yes,” Rey responded without hesitation. 

Finn sighed. “I don’t like this, Rey. But we don’t have many options.”

Rey nodded to him. 

“I need to gather our supplies and head get back to Poe,” said Finn. 

“I’ll talk to Ben,” Rey said simply, not wanting to say anything more to upset him. “Don’t worry about me, Finn, I’ll be fine. Go back to Poe. He needs you.”

“Meet us back on Ajan Kloss and tell us what you learn.” He nodded at her and walked out of the room. 

Rey sat at the table for a while longer, thinking about how she would bring herself to reach out to Ben. She didn’t even know where he’d be. He had never been on Tatooine, so she couldn’t imagine that he would appear to her here. She need to find somewhere that had meant something to him - to them. There was only one place she could think of that he might be.


	5. The Shrines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The porgs from the Millenium Falcon live on Ajan Kloss now and they have a thriving community, so don't @ me

Finn climbed out of Poe’s x-wing and stepped into the generator lights of the landing site on Ajan Kloss. Thick leaves rustled in the darkness overhead, and distant calls of porgs and other birds echoed in the distant woods. Finn took a deep breath and began walking out of the landing area. This was not going to go well.

He called out to a passing Resistance pilot, “Hey Sovi, where can I find Poe?”

“Head that way,” the woman said, pointing to the communications center. “I think he's with Rose and Kaydel.” 

Finn began making his way toward the large tent that covered the network of communications systems. The night air was humid, and small bugs flitted past him as he made his way through the sea of assorted Resistance ships. 

Just outside the landing zone, he slowed his walk, as he always did, to pass the small grouping of shrines at the bottom of a row of tall trees that had been set up to honor the fallen. The shrines were humble displays, arranged with care and filled with mostly handmade mementos. The first altar had been set up for all those lost on Exogol. On a small shelf which had been nailed into the side of the tree, a holostill of Snap Wexley slowly rotated atop a note from Kaydel. The paper was held down by a small rock, and the ends fluttered slightly in the warm breeze. Streamers of yellow and blue were wrapped around the tree, covered in scattered names, affectionate scribbles, and hand-drawn stars. They criss-crossed around printed pictures and lovingly written notes that had been pinned to the bark. Holos, some still shots, others moving, glowed faintly in the darkness. Finn stared at the familiar faces of Snap, Nien Nunb, and so many others, some of whom Finn didn’t even recognize. 

The next tree was for those lost at the Battle of Crait. Someone had painted Admiral Holdo and Admiral Ackbar, their faces lit from below by the holos of so many others set amongst flowers and letters and ribbons at the base of the tree. Painted rocks and flowers were scattered among the momentos, along with goggles, and scarves, and other items that had likely belonged to the person before they died. 

The last tree was reserved for General Leia Organa herself. It held no holos or colorful banners, just her face painted at the center of the tree, surrounded only by letters pinned to the tree at random, a testament to the countless lives she touched, free of the decorative fanfare that she would have hated. She stared out toward the horizon with a look of determination that was so real to life. Her death had left a large hole in the Resistance, and Finn couldn’t imagine the pressure Poe must have felt looking up at her painted face.

The shrines had sprung up unannounced after Exogol. General Organa had always been so forward-focused, she never would have encouraged such a display of sentimentality for those lost. She would have said that it was a distraction. But Poe had allowed the shrines to remain. There were many ways in which Poe could stand to learn more from the General, but this was something that Finn believed Poe had got right. They couldn’t allow themselves to forget what, and who, they fought for. Finn smiled, thinking of Poe as he looked at the trees. The man wrapped himself in stubbornness and sarcasm, yet here, in the midst of the woods, papers fluttering in the wind, sounds of laughter and chatter drifting through the trees, holos glowing faintly in the darkness, was Poe’s heart. Finn’s took a deep breath. He loved him, and there was nothing more to say.

Finn walked on through the wooded path, finally reaching the outside of the large comms tent. C’ai Threnalli and scattered Resistance members lounged at the tables. The systems were quiet for the night, but someone was still needed to man the boards just in case. Finn called out to them.

“Hey, you guys seen Poe?”

C’ai raised his mug of coffee in greeting, and tilted his head to the left of the tent where the glow of a fire could be seen through the trees.

Finn approached the small fire pit that sat a little ways into the woods. Logs and various crates had been set up around it, and the spot had become an informal meeting place for meals, breaks, and general conversation. Poe sat on a wooden crate opposite Kaydel. Rose sat between them telling a funny story about a time she and her sister got in trouble as kids. Poe wore his jacket, despite the warm air, and was leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, listening to Rose. She reached the end of her story, laughing almost too hard to finish. Poe gave a weak laugh, his eyes tired. Even exhausted Poe looked lovely. Why did he have to look so good when Finn was here to give him news that would make him angry?

“Hi Finn!” Rose said, waving from behind the fire as he approached. 

Poe turned to look at Finn and smiled, his shoulders visibly relaxing. Finn’s heart skipped in his chest. This was not going to go well. 

Poe looked behind Finn and his face took on a confused expression, “Where’s Rey? I thought she might come back with you this time”

Finn gave a quick glance to Rose and Kaydel, then returned his face to Poe. “Can I talk to you?” he asked, “Alone?”

Poe looked concerned, but stood up from the fire. “Sure.” He waved to Rose and Kaydel, then turned with Finn to walk back toward camp. Instead of turning right to go to the command tent, Poe stayed straight on the path, walking toward the living quarters. They reached his tent, and Poe held open the tent flap to allow Finn the enter. 

It was a small space, with only a cot, small table and single chair in the corner. Despite the lack of cozy accommodations, it looked well-lived-in. Books were laid out on the floor in the corner near the bed-side table. The chair held a haphazard stack of folded clothes, and an extra pair of shoes sat under the chair. Poe had made much more of a home of this room than the one back on Tatooine. Something about the thought pained Finn, but he pushed it aside. 

Poe took off his jacket, tossing it on top of the chair. He turned to Finn, as though he just remembering he was there. “Sorry to bring you here, I just-. Uh, I needed to get away for a minute.” 

Finn shook his head reassuringly, “It’s alright, Poe. I understand.” 

Poe turned to the chair suddenly, “Ah, and of course you would need to be able to sit,” he said almost to himself, lifting the clothes up and moving them onto the table.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Poe gestured to the now-empty chair nervously, the feeling in the room suddenly becoming awkward and formal. 

Finn took the chair, gazing around the room once again. The walls billowed slightly in the night breeze. The small table held a pencil, an old handheld comm unit, and a book in a language Finn didn’t know laying open, upside-down to keep the page. The bed was sloppily made, but made nonetheless. He thought about how many times he’d imagined being in this room. But in all his imaginings they would have been here under much different circumstances. Realizing they’d been sitting in silence for the past minute, Finn turned his attention back to Poe.

“What?” Poe asked.

“Nothing. I uh - nothing. I’ve just never been in here. You’ve got a lot of uh”, Finn gestured to the room, “stuff,” he finished awkwardly. 

Poe laughed. “Yeah, I guess.” He looked at Finn and seemed about to say something, but then stood up suddenly and moved across the room. “So why didn’t Rey come back with you?”

Finn didn’t know where to start. He’d rehearsed these words a hundred times on the flight back, but it didn’t matter. This wasn’t going to go well.

He sat up and looked at Poe, every piece of practiced script leaving his head. He began, stumbling over the words, “Rey is going to, uh, reach out to - talk to - Ben. Kylo Ren. You know him. Ben Solo.” Yep, this was going poorly. 

“....What?” Poe said, a look of confusion on his face.

Finn continued, “She said he’s good now. So he’s on our side, and she’s going to ask him about Scora. To help us.” Poe continued to stare at Finn as though he’d never seen him before. “And Ben’s going to do that because he and Rey kissed. Apparently.” That’s not how he’d meant to say it. Poe took a step toward Finn, his hand on his head now. This was going  _ very _ poorly.

“What?! She kissed Kylo Ren?” Poe yelled. “Why-why-why would she do that? What, did they fit in flirting between the death-threats and saber battles??”

Finn held up his hands, as much in self-defense as in an attempt to keep Poe’s voice down, “Poe, I hear you. I know. It’s crazy. But I don’t think it was like that. Rey seemed like she felt… upset”

Poe held out an arm in exasperation, “I hope she does feel bad! What is she doing out there kissing the most evil guy in the galaxy?”

“We don’t know what they have between them, Poe. They have some sort of - connection, through the Force,” Finn said, “I felt it.”

Poe put his hands on his hips and let out an annoyed sigh. Finn could understand his frustration. Finn could feel for himself that Rey and Ben were somehow bonded through the Force, but Poe had to simply take someone else’s word for it, something he was loathe to do on any topic. 

Finn continued, “She said Kylo Ren finally turned, Poe.” Finn looked at him earnestly, imploring him to understand. “I felt her die on Exogol. Then suddenly she was returned.  _ He _ did that. Rey said Ben gave his life to bring her back.”

Poe said nothing for another minute, anger plain on his face. He looked up. “You believed that? Do you really trust her, Finn?”

“Of course I do!” Finn responded curtly, “How could you even ask me that?!” He stood, his anger rising. 

Poe’s voice grew louder, “Oh, I see how it is. You’ll take her side, like always. Meanwhile she could be the one who was turned for all we know!” 

“Poe, I-” Finn began in a yell. Then he stopped himself and took a deep breath. He took a step toward Poe, trying to keep his voice down, “You know Rey wouldn’t do that.”

Poe breathed heavily and stared at Finn. He turned away after a moment, and Finn could tell that Poe knew he was right.

Finn continued in a calm voice, “Either way, Rey will be coming back here soon to tell us what she learns.” He took a step toward Poe and kept his voice quiet, despite the anger that still filled his words, “You know I’m always on your side,” he said, pointing a finger at Poe’s chest, “I shouldn’t have to tell you that.” Finn turned and walked out of the tent without waiting for a reply. 

Well, that had gone about as poorly as it possibly could have gone. Why had Poe taken him to his tent? He hadn’t planned for that level of distraction. Finn felt angry. He needed to sleep. Hell, Poe needed to sleep. The man was way too close to edge if he had actually accused Rey of lying and turning to the dark side. He was a -

“Finn!” Poe shouted from the darkness. He jogged up the dirt path to Finn, stopping a few feet away. He put his hands on his hips and looked out into the trees, then looked down at the ground and forced the words out, “I’m sorry Finn. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m just so -”

“Go to sleep, Poe,” Finn cut him off. He placed a hand on Poe’s shoulder and looked directly into the eyes that he loved so much. “You need it.”

Poe raised his hand as if to place it on top of Finn’s, then lowered it back to his side. He nodded and turned to walk back to his tent. 


	6. Lifting Rocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing inspires me to write like having school work I want to avoid, so here's chapter 6! Last chapter we got angsty Poe, so I hope you enjoy angsty Rey.
> 
> If you're still reading this, god bless you. Please find a better use for your time. 
> 
> Also, forgot to post this on my last chapter - I want to give a big shout out to my gracious and eternal editor and sounding board, mutalune. Can't thank you enough for actually 1) listening to my crackpot Star Wars theories that were the basis of this fic and 2) helping me build those crackpot theories into a (hopefully) coherent plot outline

Exegol loomed before her. 

From the window of Luke’s x-wing, Rey peered down at the gray planet. The surface was a ruin, a heap of rock and metal. Massive star destroyers lay on their sides in the distance, some still smoldering. 

_ This would be a Scavenger’s paradise, _ she thought wryly.

Rey landed atop a long piece of broken rock, which jutted out from the ruin of one of the large ships. She stepped out of her ship and turned around slowly. A horrible silence covered the place, and the crunch of her shoes against the rough rock seemed incredibly loud. D-O stared out at her from the cockpit. He was too small to fit in the droid port on the wing. He looked up at her. “Q-q-quiet….Here to find your someone?”

Her chest tightened with anxiety, “Yes,” she replied. 

She stood facing out toward the planet, her limbs unable to move. She was nervous. She was more nervous now than when she’d flown here to face Palpatine. That had been fueled by adrenaline and anger, but this time she had only unease and a terrible sadness, which threatened to overtake her at the sight of the desolate landscape. 

This was a terrible place. Even with Palpatine dead and the legion of Sith star destroyers in ruins, the feeling of evil seemed stronger somehow. The silence around her was filled with it. Would Ben really be  _ here _ ? In truth, she didn’t want to know. Why had she suggested this? 

Finn. She thought of the desperate look on his face as he talked to her about Scora Madar. She was doing this for Finn. For the kids that Scora was targeting. This wasn’t about her. Or Ben. She took a deep breath and turned to D-O. “Wait here with the ship.” 

Shoving her own feelings aside, Rey lowered herself down to the planet’s surface. She walked aimlessly, hesitantly, still unwilling to open herself to the Force. She wasn't ready for this. For any of it. She had faced her grandfather here. Was it his evil she felt lingering over the rocky planet? And it was here that she had seen Ben, truly, for the first, and last, time. And yet the mangled landscape of ships and stones seemed completely foreign, far removed from her memories. Her mind flashed quickly to the dark place filled with voices and beams of light that haunted her since Exegol. Was that….here? But this place looked nothing like it. So she walked on. 

She continued to climb over crumbling rock faces and walk past hunks of metal, thrown wide from the Star destroyers that had crashed to the surface in the distance. She wished she hadn’t come here. But this was the only place that she could think that might be meaningful to Ben. She’s thought of his star destroyer from Crait where they’d fought Snoke’s guards together, but it was a heap of crumbling ash somewhere in the recesses of space. This place was crumbling as well, but at least she could visit without too much risk to her life. 

What would she even say to Ben when he appeared? What would he say to her? She’d never spoken to him as Ben, not really. The time between when he’d revived her and when he’d died had been only a moment. Again her mind went back to that darkness, and those voices, and Ben’s face. Did she even know him? When they had touched hands on Ahch To, it felt like she had seen the whole of his life. Like she had  _ lived _ it. But did that mean she knew him? She didn’t know. 

Rey stopped walking suddenly. 

Something black was just visible up ahead, sticking out beneath a pile of large fallen rocks. She stepped toward it quickly, reaching out to the Force without thinking. She raised her arm and brought her focus to moving the massive rock. It lifted slowly, scraping horribly on the rocks below it. She increased her concentration, directing every ounce of her strength at the rock. A bolt of lightning arched from her hand, but she didn’t care. It split the rock in two, the two halves crashing on either side of her and settling deafeningly against the ground. She froze.

Ben’s TIE fighter lay propped against the massive rocks behind it. One of the wings was missing and the front window was smashed in. It lay scratched and mangled on a bed of broken glass. How had it even survived the fall of the Sith fleet? Rey stared at it without moving for a moment, waiting for her breathing to return to normal. Why had she come here?

She walked toward the broken ship slowly. Reaching the front, she climbed in through the shattered window. It was dark inside, the interior covered in pieces of rock and broken glass. 

She peered around in the dim light of the small space. Her breath caught at the sight of something in the dark corner at the back of the ship. A jacket lay crumpled on the floor behind the pilot’s chair. It was Ben’s thick jacket that he’d always worn as Kylo Ren. She hadn’t thought about it specifically at the time, but he hadn’t been wearing it when he came to fight by her side on Exegol. She wondered whether he’d taken it off before he flew to the planet or after. Somehow, that seemed to matter. Either way, it now lay in a discarded heap on the floor of the small, broken ship. She couldn’t bring herself to touch it. It somehow felt dark, a symbol of Kylo Ren, and yet too personal at the same time in the way that all belongings of the dead seemed after the person was gone. Letting her eyes linger on the jacket for one final moment, she turned away from it and looked around the small space, trying to think of what to do. 

There was nothing for it. This was as good a place as any to try to speak with him, maybe better than most, considering he’d actually spent time in the ship. She brushed the bits of rock and metal from the pilot’s seat and sat down awkwardly. She’d never been in one of these before. It didn’t feel as evil as she’d thought it should. But it was only just a ship afterall. 

The acceleration levers sat before her, one bent at an odd angle. Feeling self-conscious despite the emptiness of the planet, she reached out and grabbed them, just for an instant, and tried to imagine what it would feel like to fly a TIE fighter. What had Ben been thinking when he flew this here to fight with her? The slight tilt of the fighter against the rocks behind it meant that the pilot’s seat was tilted upward, and she looked out at the sky above. Was he really out there? And, if he was, would he even appear to her here? Staring out into the sky, she felt alone, truly alone. There was no one here to help her, no one to help her work through the feelings that this planet brought back to her - the fear of her own lineage, the grief she felt for Ben, and the guilt she carried about it all. She looked down at her hands, still holding the accelerator levers. What was she going to say to him? 

_ Just keep it simple. Talk about Scora _ , she told herself, ... _ Thank him for saving me?  _ That seemed weird.  _ Don’t do that. _

She needed to stop stalling. There was nowhere to run here, and they couldn’t afford to be wasting time when children’s lives were at stake. She would reach out to the Force. She would talk to Ben. Everything would be alright. 

She pulled her hands back from the controls and placed them on the tops of her legs. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Every lesson Leia had taught her about opening herself to the Jedis of the past ran through her mind in a repetitive chorus. 

“Empty your mind of all thought.”

“Allow your consciousness to drift outward. Breath in and out slowly.”

“Breath in the air and the sounds around you.”

“Ask them to be with you.”

Rey continued to breath and let her mind remain open to the Force. She took notice of a wind in the distance, sweeping over the ruins of a star destroyer. There was no life on the planet. Only dust and metal. She could sense distant corpses inside the large ships, but only the bodies remained, and likely would remain forever inside the massive ruins. She felt the heat of the twisted and smoldering metal of the still-burning ships far away, and the dry cold of the rocks far below. Venturing out further, she sensed very distant life, too faint to be human. So there were animals somewhere in this horrible landscape after all. She hoped she’d never have to see them.

She allowed herself to really notice the Force for the first time since Exegol. It felt - balanced. The oddity of this stuck her, but she moved past it, bringing her attention back to Leia’s instructions. This was it. 

She inhaled and spoke out into the Force, “Be with me”. She breathed again and repeated her call, “Be with me”. She sat in the broken TIE fighter and continued to call outward, focusing all her energy into remaining open to the Force. The wind continued to blow across the ruined ships in the distance and her voice continued to echo out into the empty space, but nothing came back.

She opened her eyes in frustration. Why wasn’t he here? Maybe she wasn’t trying hard enough. Maybe something was missing. Maybe just being in his ship wasn’t enough. An idea occurred to her. She let out a sigh of frustration, and without turning around she used the Force to lift Ben’s jacket off the floor behind her. It rose over her head, and she let it fall lightly in her lap. Rey looked down at the jacket slowly. It still had the hole in the side from where she’d wounded him on the Death Star. Rey ran her fingers over the ripped fabric. She hadn’t meant to truly hurt him. Yes, she’d been angry, but even then she had known they were too evenly matched. She never expected that he wouldn’t block her attack. The confusion that had hit her when she realized she’d struck him, the look of sadness on his face, the realization that Leia was gone, all of it had hit her at once as she stared at him on the cold ruins, the waves crashing around them. 

Staring at the jacket now, she hated the thing. And hated herself for coming here at all. But she needed to do this. For Finn. For the thousands of children that were living out there right now unaware that Scora was coming for them. She steadied herself and placed her hands over the jacket. The fabric felt thick and rough against her fingers. She closed her eyes again and let out a deep breath to begin again. She opened herself to the Force, once again taking in the wind of the desolate planet and the dim lingering sense of evil left from the Sith fleet.

“Be with me,” she spoke, quieter this time. “Be with me.” She opened her mind to the expanse of the Force. It was silent. She felt a frustrated sense of desperation creeping up over her. Why wasn’t Ben answering? “Be with me,” she said again. She spoke louder now, her left hand clenching into a fist on the jacket. What was she doing wrong? “Please, be with me.” Her voice was desperate now. “Ben, please. We need you.” There was no reply. 

She opened her eyes again and looked down at the jacket in her hands. She held it in two fists on her lap. Why hadn’t he answered her? Why wasn’t he here? She was so angry. Tears welled up in her eyes and she threw the coat out of the ship. It fell to the ground anticlimactically a short distance away. She stared out at it, feeling stupid. Stupid for coming here. Stupid for thinking this would work. Stupid for giving Finn hope of an answer when she had none now to give. Stepping out of the TIE fighter, she took out her lightsaber for the first time since arriving. Anger coursing through her, she turned to face the broken ship and cut off the other wing. Her saber melted through the metal and it made her feel powerful. She turned to the large slab of rock that she’d broken apart and used the Force to lift it over the broken ship. Small pieces crumbled off the bottom and pinged off the black TIE fighter. It looked pathetic, and she knew she could crush it with a single thought. 

Why had she thought this would work? Tears of anger and regret were streaming down her face now. She stared at the ship, so small beneath the large rock she held. Ben wasn’t here. But why should she care? She didn’t know what they were to each other anyway. She let out a yell and pushed the rock as far out into the distance as she could. Lightning crackled around the stone as it soared away from her. The force of the effort knocked her back against the ground, and she lay there panting. She pushed herself off the ground suddenly and stormed out to Ben’s jacket that lay in a heap. She took her lightsaber and held it out, ready to cut the jacket into shreds.

But her arms just hung suspended in the air above her. She lowered them slowly. This wouldn’t help Finn. Destroying his coat wouldn’t bring answers, and it wouldn’t help her find closure. Ben was gone. There was nothing she could do about that. She turned off her saber, her eyes never leaving the jacket. She picked it up and carried it back to the TIE fighter, walking slowly. Rey sat down in front of the ship and placed the jacket on the ground beside her. She pulled her knees to her chest and, once again, she let all the emotions she’d been holding in wash over her as she stared at the black ship. Its right side still smoked slightly from where her saber had cut it. What was she supposed to do? Why did she still feel this fear and anger even though Palpatine was gone? Why had Ben finally turned to stand with her, only to let himself die? She cried silently. She sat like that for a long time, her head resting on her arms. How would she tell Finn and Poe that she had failed?

After a time, she stood up. The wind that had been distant before was now sweeping across the ground in front of her, and bits of dust and shards of glass blew up against the broken TIE fighter in the partial darkness of the planet. Kicked up by the wind, Ben’s jacket brushed up against the side of her foot and she looked down at it. Without stopping to question herself, she picked it up and began walking back toward her x-wing. 

Rey pulled herself up onto the rock where she’d landed, and D-O peered out at her from the pilot’s seat. He looked from her face to the jacket in her hand. “Is that t-t-them?”

Rey looked at him confused, then down at the jacket, realizing the tiny droid’s meaning. “No,” she responded, placing the jacket into the space behind the pilot’s seat. She climbed into the ship and looked out at the desolate planet one last time. 

Rey lowered the door of the ship and took off slowly to return to Ajan Kloss.   



	7. Strong Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe drinks coffee. BB-8 makes an appearance. Finn sits in the rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truly nothing gave me a greater sense of relief and joy than searching Wookiepedia for what type of morning beverage is available in the Star Wars universe and finding that they just drink regular coffee. 
> 
> To my handful of readers - Thank you!! :)
> 
> I promise this story is going somewhere - I just write slow and use too many words lol

Poe woke slowly the next morning, one arm hanging off the side of his cot. The sound of a light rain pattered against the roof of his tent. A book lay open on the floor a few inches from his fingers. He’d fallen asleep reading again. One corner at the bottom of the tent flap had come loose, and it moved back and forth in the wind, water already seeping onto the tent floor from the small opening. He picked up the book. It was an old one he’d found among Leia’s things. It had no title, but appeared to be a work of theory about the Force. Some of the markings were symbols he couldn’t read, but the rest was in Mando’a. Mandalorians had frequented Kijimi often enough to make the language a part of the culture, so Poe knew enough of it to be able to pick his way through. 

He’d started reading the book after Exegol. He couldn’t connect to the Force, but it seemed like everyone else could, so he needed to know what he was up against. He wanted to understand what Finn could feel. And he felt like he needed every piece of knowledge possible to understand Rey. She always did whatever she wanted.  _ That _ he understood. But what had she been thinking over the past year? What was this business with Kylo Ren? And Finn had actually called him Ben as if they were  _ friends _ . Poe shook his head. They were both crazy. 

And now Rey was out there somewhere talking to Ren, or Ben, or whoever he was now. She made no sense to Poe. Even before the Battle of Exegol, Rey had been distant, overly concentrated on things happening inside her own head that no one else could see. She’d thrown herself completely into training with Leia, ignoring the fact that the Resistance desperately needed her, but every day had only seemed to bring her more frustration. Yet she wouldn’t talk to anyone about any of it. Even Leia. Rey had developed a habit of staring into the distance, lost in thought at random. And it had only worsened when the three of them had gone off to seek the Sith wayfinder. Poe thought back to the sight of her standing alone out in the desert on Pasaana, and of the way that Finn had just allowed her to walk out there toward Kylo Ren. Any time Poe had tried to mention his concerns to Finn, he’d gotten a brushed-off response. Finn could sense things about Rey that Poe didn’t understand, and he hated it. Whatever small knowledge he would gain from this book might be some relief. He marked his page and laid it back on the small table. 

Poe rolled over to stare up at the tent’s ceiling. A small hole in the fabric dripped water onto the tent’s rug floor just past the foot of the bed.  _ Why under the light had we ever decide to make base on a jungle planet?  _ But the massive reach of the First Order -  _ New _ Order - didn’t leave many location options open for a secret Resistance base. 

He sighed. What were they going to do to defeat Scora Madar? Rose, Connix, and the others were hard at work gathering information to discuss tonight. Maz would be on her way back soon as well. He sighed again. Hadn’t they just fought this fight? When would this war end? Would it  _ ever _ end? It had to. He had plans now - for after. Plans for a life. A  _ real _ life. Without danger or information briefings or life-and-death missions. A quiet life. With Finn and Rey. His mind lingered on Finn a moment. As if a quiet life were even likely now after how he’d yelled at Finn last night. 

Poe ran a hand over his face in frustration. Closing his eyes, the memory of Finn’s face when he’d told him that he was always on his side swam before his eyes. Finn had looked … sad. Shouldn’t he have been angry? If only Finn had given him anger, he could have fought back, and they would have woken again as equals. But the look in Finn’s eyes had been one of sadness. Something about it hurt Poe more than he wanted to admit. 

Poe could hear someone approaching down the dirt path. He sat up.  _ I really can't stand to face Finn right now _ , he thought with a sudden panic. 

But it was Rose’s voice that sounded from outside the tent. “Hey, are you gonna sleep  _ all _ day?”

“I’m up. I’m up,” Poe grumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the cot. 

“Someone has been very worried about you, and he says he’s coming in” he heard Rose say from outside the tent with a laugh.

So Finn was here? “I’m fine, really-” Poe started to say, but BB-8 rolled through the tent flaps. Poe laughed. “Hey, little guy,” he said, giving the droid an affectionate rub on the head. 

“Well hurry up or all the good portions will be gone!” Rose said, her voice moving away from the tent outside. It was a running joke within the Resistance. All the portions were the same. And they were never good. 

A moment later, Poe stepped outside his tent, pulling up the hood of his poncho against the rain. BB-8 rolled happily alongside him as they made their way up the pathway toward the camp’s central hub. Being one of the few areas covered with decently water-proof tarps, the comms tent was more crowded than usual this morning. Tired head nods and raised hands greeted him as he stepped into the large covered area. BB-8 emitted a series of happy beeps and rolled over to Lt Connix and Rose, who were leaned against a stack of crates talking over a datapad that lit their faces from below. Someone put a coffee in Poe’s hand. “Thanks,” he said scanning the area. 

Finn wasn’t here. 

Poe took a seat in one of the open chairs at a table near the edge of the space. Beaumont sat at one of the comm units to Poe’s left. He raised his mug of coffee in greeting. 

“Anything good?” Poe asked him.  _ Please tell me there’s some good news _ .

Beaumont tilted his head to the side skeptically and let out a sigh. “Scora is still making noise. More and more prominent names keep disappearing from the airwaves,” he said, ”Whatever this woman is doing, she’s good at it.” 

Poe nodded his head slightly. “Keep looking out. She might be good, but so are we,” Poe said, trying to sound inspirational. He took a sip of his coffee. “Don’t forget we won the last one.”

The young tech smiled back at Poe appreciatively, but he looked doubtful. Poe didn’t blame him.  _ I shouldn’t have mentioned Exegol _ , he thought with regret. Too many lives had been lost, and their deaths were still fresh in everyone’s minds. Only two months ago, he would have been getting these updates from Snap, not Beaumont. But Snap was no longer here. Had it really only been two months? More than the deaths of their friends, what weighed on them all was the endless marching of the First Order. It had only been two months and yet here they were once again facing the immense power of the Order. The faces changed, but the fight was still the same. 

They needed something  _ big _ . Something that would end the Order for good. But if Rey killing Palpatine hadn’t done it, then what would? He thought of Rey out in the distance somewhere trying to ask Kylo Ren for help. Maybe that was just crazy enough to work. They needed new answers, why not look in new places? He sighed.  _ This must be some strong coffee if I’m actually agreeing with Rey _ , he laughed to himself. He took another sip of coffee. Did he really think Rey’s plan would work or did he just feel guilty about last night? 

Poe took another sip of his coffee and stared out into the trees. The rain continued to fall heavily on the green canopy above and dripped slowly from the smaller leaves beneath. He had to admit, the planet  _ could _ be beautiful sometimes. 

“General,” said Ca’i, walking up to Poe from across the tent. 

Poe stood up, placing his coffee on the table beside him and stepped toward Ca’i Threnalli. “What is it?”

“Just thought you might want to go over some of the reports before your meeting later today,” he said, handing Poe a datapad that showed a long log of intercepted messages. 

Poe sighed inwardly, but kept his face even. “Thanks.” He nodded to Ca’i. 

“We got a message from Maz too,” Ca’i continued. “She says she should arrive here within the next few hours.”

“Rey should be coming here within the next day or so as well,” Poe told him. “Let me and Finn know as soon as either of them arrives.”

Ca’i nodded and headed back across the tent. 

Poe picked his coffee back up and started to look over the log of intercepted New Order messages that Ca’i had given him. 

_ 024.1.907 17.86 GST - General Rene to Lt Commander Harik: Request your presence at meeting on Alecto at 21.50. Madar in attendance. Support needed to oppose. _

_ 025.1.907 12.09 GST - General Rene to Major Olphen: Request report on Madar access to personnel files. Deliver in person. _

_ 028.1.907 03.17 GST - General Rene to Lt Commander Harik: Lt Commander Olphen missing. Madar promotion to Lt Commander expected imminently. _

_ 032.1.907 08.61 GST - Audio Transcript: In attendance...[unintelligible]... Ceremonies today recognize promotion of Drafan Harik to General following General Rene’s sudden resignation… _

The log continued on for several pages. Beaumont was right. Scora was good. None of the intercepted messages came from her, but her name was laced throughout all of them. Anyone who opposed her or requested information on her background seemed to suddenly resign or simply disappear off the log. Two other lines caught Poe’s eye. 

_ 021.1.907 27.89 GST - Major General Janren to Lieutenant Pavond: KL-6498 showing irregular behavior. Troop to be dissolved effective immediately. Reassign all troopers to separate squadrons. _

_ 024.1.907 28.10 GST - Commander Ballo to Lt Commander Das: Advise Fleet Commander report on Resistance activity to be ready at 16.00. Schedule briefing to discuss. _

So they were still being watched. Ajan Kloss was well-hidden, and they hadn’t run reconnaissance in months, so the New Order likely had only tech read-outs. It was still concerning nonetheless. He glanced up at the people working hard in the tent around him. The ragtag group sat and stood at random around the covered space, chipped coffee mugs in hand, laughter sounding from around the tent at intervals.  _ These are the people considered enough of a threat to warrant briefings in the New Order? _ The thought made Poe smile. 

His eyes returned to the message on troop reassignment. It appeared to have been included only because Janren disappeared off the log shortly after, following an apparent confrontation with Scora during a meeting on 025.1.907, but the line gave him pause. What had KL-6498 done that caused an entire squadron to be disbanded? Finn had mentioned once that he had been expecting reassignment before he escaped the First Order. Was it possible that this trooper had rebelled too? And maybe others had as well if it was bad enough to get the whole troop reassigned. 

The only good news, if it could even be called good, was that the log showed no evidence yet that Scora’s plan to kill force-sensitive children had gone into effect. In fact, one entry from within the past few days showed that the suggestion had faced some opposition during a meeting of the leadership on the Alecto.  _ At least some of these people have a shred of decency, _ Poe thought to himself. 

He looked up from the log and turned to Beaumont. “Have you seen Finn?”

Beaumont shrugged and shook his head. Ca’i leaned back in his seat to look at Poe from behind Beaumont. “I saw him heading out past the landing site earlier,” he said. 

“Thanks.” Poe stood up from the table, shoving the datapad in a pocket, and walked across the large tent to the table at the back near Rose and Kaydel where the coffee pot sat atop a warming plate. Reaching it, he refilled his mug. 

He turned to Rose and Kaydel. “Have either of you seen Finn this morning?”

“He went out toward Rey’s training course a little while ago,” Kaydel answered.

Poe nodded.  _ The training course? What was Finn doing out there? _ He stepped away toward the direction of the training grounds, then, with a second thought, turned back to the table. He grabbed another mug and filled it halfway with coffee. Finn never finished a whole cup. Rose and Kaydel shared a look, the both of them trying to cover a smile.

_ So they heard our fight last night, _ he thought,  _ Great, that’s the last thing I need.  _ He needed to get his temper under control. Although he had a friendly respect from the Resistance, he still lacked the inherent air of authority that Leia had embodied. He worried sometimes that they only followed him on her word, and that any misstep would ruin his image in their eyes forever. Hopefully they had only heard the loudness of his voice and not the words of the conversation. 

Poe placed a small plate on top of each cup, facedown, in an attempt to keep them covered from the rain. Balancing a mug in each hand, he made his way back across the tent and stepped out into the drizzling rain. He walked down past the shrines and cut around behind the landing site, trying not to let the plates slip off the mugs. A short distance into the forest, he approached the training course. 

Finn was seated up ahead on a fallen tree, his back to Poe. The fallen log rested at a very slight angle, its one end propped against the side of a massive Aconite tree. The thick branches of the large tree kept the fallen log relatively dry from the rain, but droplets of water still clung to Finn’s hair.  _ He must not have been out here long _ , Poe thought, a strange sense of relief washing over him.

At the sound of Poe’s approach, Finn turned around and stood up, walking toward Poe under the shelter of the tree branches. 

“I brought you some coffee,” Poe said as Finn approached him.

“Thanks,” FInn said, reaching for the mug that Poe extended to him. As Poe tried to to pass the mug to Finn, the plate slipped from the top. They both caught it at the same time, their fingers brushing over one another, and the mug jostling slightly between their hands. 

“Sorry,” Poe said with a grimace. He let go of the mug and slid the plate back on top. 

Finn cleared his throat, looking at Poe for a moment. “I’m just surprised the coffee didn’t spill,” he said.

“Well, I only filled it half way,” Poe said.

The corner of Finn’s mouth gave an almost imperceptible smile, and he took a sip of the coffee.

Poe took the datapad out of his pocket, as they walked back around the fallen tree to sit down. “Ca’i gave me some reports to review before our meeting tonight,” Poe said, handing the datapad to Finn. “If you want to look at them with me,” he added. 

Finn took the datapad without responding and set his mug on the tree trunk beside him as he began to scan over the intercepted messages.

When Finn reached the end, he looked up toward the trees in front of them, but said nothing. 

“At least they haven't implemented Scora’s plan yet,” Poe said. He knew Finn would understand which plan he meant.

Finn’s eyebrows lowered. “That’s not a reason to relax. I don’t want to just sit here waiting for them to start murdering children,” Finn said, the fire returning to his voice.

“Me neither,” Poe answered honestly. Finn’s eyebrows seemed to relax a little, and he looked at Poe for a moment before turning back to the datapad. He began perusing it again. 

“You saw the line about KL-6498?” Poe asked him.

“Yep, I saw it,” Finn responded, turning back to Poe. “Sounds like me before we met.”

Poe nodded.  _ Why had he phrased it that way? _

Poe spoke hesitantly, unsure if they were able to joke again yet, “Good to know there might be more Finns in the New Order. Although I doubt they’ll find a pilot as good as me to help them escape,” he said.

Finn responded without turning to look at Poe. “Oh, you were a good pilot? I seem to remember us crash landing,” he said, finally smiling.

Poe smiled back. Then he looked out at the trees, his mind returning to the report. “And we’re still being watched,” he added.

Finn sighed, “Yeah, I figured. The Order? They keep tabs on  _ everyone _ .”

They sat in silence for a few minutes as they drank their coffees. Poe turned to Finn suddenly, “So what were you doing out here anyway?”

The determined expression returned to Finn’s face for a moment, then he looked down at his coffee. “I asked Rey to train me,” he said quietly, “to become a Jedi.”

A strange mixture of pride and jealousy washed over Poe at the words. He looked over at Finn, who was staring out into the trees as he took another sip of his drink. Tiny tendrils of steam drifted up from the warm coffee, and Finn looked uncharacteristically embarrassed at sharing the information. “Yeah,” Poe said nodding, “I think it’s a good idea.” He stared at Finn another minute before looking down at his own drink. Part of him felt like he should apologize again for last night, but he said nothing.

“She should have been back by now,” Finn said after a time. “I don’t like the thought of her on Exegol alone.”

Poe gave a quick shake of his head, “It might not have been that long. I don’t think time works the same there as everywhere else.”

Finn turned to him with a questioning look on his face, “And how would you know that?”

Poe shrugged, “A feeling,” he said with mock seriousness.

Finn gave him a face. “Really?”, he said, “Is this how it’s gonna be? I start my Jedi training and suddenly now you’re full of jokes?” His face broke into a smile. Poe’s heart gave a quick beat at the sight of it. 

They heard someone approaching through the trees behind them and turned in unison. Ca’i appeared from between the trees. “Just received an incoming message from Rey’s ship,” he said, pointing back toward camp, “She’ll be arriving any minute.”

Finn stood up immediately at the news. Poe’s face fell as he watched Finn walk toward Ca’i. This is how it would be now that Finn and Rey were training together. 

Reaching the edge of the training space, Finn stopped and turned back to Poe. He stood with his hands in his pockets, waiting for Poe to catch up. 

“Are you ready?” Finn said as Poe reached him. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but I hope Kylo Ren had some good advice,” Poe said.

Finn laughed, and they turned together down the path toward the landing site.


	8. The Balance in the Force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay on this chapter! I can only blame laziness, procrastination, and general winter malaise.

Rey descended toward an open space on the Resistance landing site. D-O looked out the window behind her, his head pivoting on its joint as he looked around at the lush forest, which appeared even greener than usual in the morning rain. 

Landing the ship, Rey turned it off and sat for a moment. The light rain drizzled onto the ship’s port door around her. 

_ How am I going to tell Finn that I failed? _ , she thought. She let her hands fall away from the controls as she stared forward at the rain hitting the dome around her. Why hadn’t Ben answered her? Looking out at the rain, her mind drifted back to their fight on the Death Star. Even now, she could see the water that clung to his hair. The way he had looked at her when she healed him haunted her, not because it had been sad, but because it had been happy. They had spent so much time running, always chasing one another or racing toward their own goals. But when he looked at her in that moment, she saw that their goal was the same, and his eyes told her that he wouldn’t run anymore. The recurring memory of Ben’s face that always accompanied her flashbacks to that mysterious place swam before her eyes, and she let herself linger in the memory of his face. 

D-O made a small whirring noise behind her. “F-f-friends,” he said. Rey turned her head and could make out Poe and Finn walking toward her ship a short distance away. 

She glanced back at Ben’s jacket, which lay next to D-O in the small open floor space behind the pilot’s seat.  _ Why did I bring this with me? _ , she thought, feeling increasingly self-conscious as the sound of Finn and Poe’s footsteps grew closer. If anyone saw this in her ship, it would raise too many questions. And questions were the last thing she wanted right now. Rey picked up the jacket, letting her thumb linger over the small tear for a moment, then shoved it hastily into the small storage compartment under her seat. 

She opened the port lid of the x-wing and climbed out, D-O held tightly under one arm. 

Finn and Poe reached her just as she lept down to the ground from the wing of her ship. She placed D-O down on the grass and he zoomed an affectionate circle around Finn and Poe, saying “H-h-hello” to each of them in turn. Finn smiled down at him and Poe held up a hand in greeting to the small droid. D-O returned to Rey’s’ side and, looking up at Finn and Poe, said, “We h-have someone. But it’s not t-t-them.”

“What?” Poe started. 

“Nothing,” Rey said quickly. “D-O’s talking about a large rock I had to lift. That’s all,” she said, trying to cover quickly, and using every ounce of her resolve to keep herself from looking back at the ship to check whether the jacket was visible.  _ The rock? That’s really the best cover story I could have come up with?, _ she thought to herself miserably. But Finn and Poe hadn’t seemed to notice. 

Rey looked at Finn, his face filled with hopeful anticipation. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to begin speaking, but Poe cut her off. 

“Not here,” he said, holding up a cautious hand. He nodded his head toward the path that led back to the main base, and they turned to walk up the wooded path. 

Rey glanced over at the shrines as they passed. The thick leaves protected most of the items from the rain, but holos on the edge blinked periodically as raindrops fell through them. The faces of the images cut into her. She thought back to Poe yelling at her for neglecting the Resistance in favor of her Jedi training. He had called her out, and she had ignored him. Then, she had just gone on to abandon them all and run away to Ahch To. Now, she had disappointed them again.

D-O stayed thankfully silent on the walk back toward camp. As they approached the camp, D-O rolled off down a side path, likely on his way to look for BB-8. 

Reaching the command tent, Rey, Poe, and Finn walked inside. None of them sat down. Finn took a position next to the table’s large comm unit, which sat idle in the center of the space, his hands resting on his belt, clearly trying to contain his excitement to hear the news he assumed she had. Poe leaned himself against the tent’s center table and glanced over at Finn momentarily before standing back up and turning to Rey with an intent look on his face. 

Rey still stood near the tent’s closed doorway. Her feet shifted closer together on the the grassy floor of the tent. She swallowed hard, and opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her. She simply shook her head. 

The look of disappointment on Finn’s face hit her in the chest like a punch. Poe’s face seemed to grow strangely angry, but he said nothing. Finn let his hand drop from his waist and took a step toward Rey. His words came out painfully, and she knew he was trying to avoid hurting her feelings, “It’s ok, Rey. At least we tried.”

Rey looked at Finn, putting every ounce of her regret into her voice, “Finn, I’m so sorry,” She continued, shaking her head, “I don’t know what went wrong. He should have been there.” Her thoughts drifted back to Ben’s ship and the feeling of evil that lingered over Exegol. None of it made sense. “Finn, I don’t understand,” she continued. “Ben - he should have answered me. But it was more than that…” she trailed off, remembering how the Force had felt before she reached out to Ben and how often recently she’d been plagued by her memories of that strange, dark place. 

Poe still stood silent across the table. 

Finn crossed his arms in thought and asked, “What do you mean?”

Rey debated how much she should tell them. To talk about the Force was one thing, but to try to describe her memories seemed impossible. “The Force,” Rey said, “it was -  _ balanced _ .”

Poe spoke up suddenly, looking relieved. “Well, that sounds good... That’s good right?” Poe asked, looking back and forth between Rey and Finn. 

Finn shook his head slowly back and forth, a look of confusion on his face. 

Rey answered, “It shouldn’t be in balance. Palpatine’s death alone should have tipped the scales toward the light,” she sighed. None of this made sense. “And Ben’s shift from the darkness to the light before he died should have had the same effect as well.” She looked down at the ground in front of her, deep in concentration. “None of it makes sense.” 

Poe’s face took on a serious expression for a moment, “Well, it must be Scora. She has to be evil enough to match the imbalance in the light.”

Rey simply shook her head. “No, I would have felt that.” She sighed. “I can’t explain it, but the Force just feels -  _ the same _ \- as it did before. It shouldn’t.”

Finn looked up at Rey and nodded. “I feel it too.”

Rey looked at each of the two men standing in front of her. Finn’s face was set in a thoughtful look. Poe had returned to his expression of slight annoyance, but his shoulders had relaxed.

If she had to guess, she’d say he looked resigned to some unpleasant fact, but what it was she couldn’t imagine.

Finn looked deep in thought, and she realized that he might be able to understand her apprehensions about the Force. Rey continued on. If they were going to talk about this, she may as well tell them everything. There was nothing to lose now. “And there’s something else I didn’t tell you about Exegol,” she said. 

Poe raised an eyebrow at her in indignation and threw out a hand to the side, “Is there anything you  _ did _ tell us about Exegol?”

Finn shot him a look. 

“What?” Poe said argumentatively, turning to look at Finn. Poe’s face fell slightly when their eyes met. “It’s a valid question”, he said in a softer tone. 

Rey looked at them both curiously. Finn and Poe bickered almost constantly, but Poe actually acquiescing to Finn’s reprimands?  _ This is new _ , she thought. The thought passed through her mind briefly, and her attention returned to Finn. 

Finn sighed and looked back at her. “So what is it, Rey?”

The words came out surprisingly easy, and Rey wondered why she’d been keeping them to herself over the past two months. “Palpatine said that whoever killed him would embody all the souls of the Sith,” she said, “So why don’t I feel any different?”

Poe and Finn gave no response. They simply stared at her, their faces a mingle of shock and concern.

Surprisingly, Poe spoke first, “Rey, why didn’t you tell us this?”

Rey shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess I worried you might think -”

Poe cut her off, “That you would turn to the dark side?” Poe’s eyebrows were still knitted together in frustration, but his tone was one of constrained calm. 

Finn turned his head toward Poe at the words, a look of worry on his face. 

Poe glanced in Finn’s direction before continuing in a gentler tone. “Why are you telling us now?”

Rey spoke quietly, finally bringing herself to voice her worst fears. She looked up at them earnestly, “Because I didn’t realize what I’d been fearing until I felt that the Force was balanced.” She took a deep breath. “What if it’s me?” she said, tears threatening to spill over again. “What if I  _ did _ take on all the Sith? What if I’m evil? And that’s why the Force is in balance?”

Finn spoke immediately, “No. You’re not evil Rey. It doesn’t matter who your family was. That’s not who  _ you  _ are.” His face was earnest, and Rey knew he meant every word. “If you had become the Sith, I would feel it through the Force.”

Rey had been so caught up in her own anxieties that she hadn’t considered that Finn could feel the Force as well. The knowledge actually comforted her somewhat. 

Poe appeared to relax and squared himself, taking a tentative step toward her. “I’ve known evil people, Rey. We all have,” he said, “You’re not evil.”

Rey looked back to Finn, but his eyes were still on Poe. Finn turned his head back to Rey slowly, as though unwilling to return to the conversation. 

Seeing her, he put on a reassuring smile. “You’re not evil, Rey. You didn’t embody all the Sith,” Finn said fiercely. 

Rey let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. “........But then, what happened to the Sith?” she asked, “If Palpatine died then they should have left him.”

Poe looked deep in thought and opened his mouth to say something, but then Ca’i popped his head into the tent. 

“Sorry to interrupt, generals,” he said, “Another incoming call from Maz. She’ll be here shortly.”

Poe thanked him, and Ca’i left at Poe’s nod. 

Poe, Finn, and Rey looked at each other across the tent for a moment. Finally, Rey spoke, “Poe, you looked like you had something you were going to say. What was it?”

Poe looked at her shyly, appearing unsure of himself. “Nothing,” he said, “it’s just -”, he glanced at Finn out of the corner of his eye, “Rey, are you sure Palpatine died?”

“Yes!,” Rey said emphatically, “He crumbled away before my eyes! He was gone… He -” She stopped. It was a crazy idea, but it made more sense than any explanation she’d come up with.  _ But how? And if Palpatine was alive, then what if Ben was too? _

Finn had turned to Poe and appeared to be on the defensive, “If Rey says he’s dead, then he’s dead, Poe.”

Poe held up a gentle hand toward Finn in self-defense, “That’s not what I’m saying Finn. I’m not questioning Rey.” 

Finn appeared unmoved.

“Finn, I heard you,” Poe added meaningfully, though the comment made no sense to Rey. 

Rey spoke up, and they turned to her in unison. “Regardless, he’s either dead or gone somewhere that we can’t reach. It’s more important that we move on to problems we can actually fix.” The words came out confidently, but she didn’t believe them. If Palpatine was alive, then Ben might be too, somehow. The thought gave her a feeling of purpose that she hadn’t felt in the months since Exegol. 

Poe nodded, “Let’s get some food and rest before Maz gets here. I don’t want to be going into the meeting on coffee alone.”

Poe held open the tent flap for Rey and Finn to exit. The rain had stopped and left a groggy humidity in its wake. They began to walk into camp, then Rey thought back to Ben’s jacket still sitting in her ship.

“You go on ahead,” Rey said suddenly, “I want to go check on my ship and then clean up before I eat.”

“Alright,” Finn said with a smile, “But you better hurry or all the good portions will be gone.”


	9. Building an Empire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't date a Bothan, especially if they're good at singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been a *bit* of a delay since I last released a chapter. If you're still here reading this, bless you, and I truly apologize for the delay!

Rey sat inside the command tent with the leaders of the Resistance. She’d wanted to get Ben’s jacket from her ship, but Lt Connix had stopped her on the way and insisted that they walk to the mess tent together. She would just have to get it later. 

Rose stood at the center table, going over her notes with Lt Connix in preparation for the briefing she’d prepared. Poe stood on the opposite side of the table from Rose. He was chatting idly with Commander D’Acy, who sat in one of the few chairs within the room. Finn stood a short distance from Poe, laughing at a story Maz was telling about her assistant Garran and an unfortunate date he’d had with a Bothan. Maz hadn’t been able to make it to this meeting in person, so a holo of her face floated above a small, portable holo projector at the edge of the table. Beaumont and Ca’i Threnalli stepped into the tent a moment later, the darkening twilight visible behind them outside. They gave a wave to everyone gathered in the tent and settled into a corner near Finn. 

Poe nodded to the group. “Alright everyone, let’s hear it.” He gestured to Rose, who set down the data pad on the table in front of her. Lt Connix stepped back to stand next to Rey. 

Rose began, “The New Order seems to be mass-producing these smaller HL30-Achievers,” she said, pulling up the schematics on the projector atop the center table. A mid-size ship rotated in the holoprojection before them. It looked similar to the Rebel transport ships, but it was much larger and had the sharp edges indicative of Imperial design. Lines jutted out from the schematics, pointing to notes Rose had typed on the ship’s features. “Living quarters - approx. 11,000 persons” was typed next to a line that extended from the ship’s upper anterior. “5 cannons” was scrawled near the front of the ship. A line pointing toward the center of the posterior section of the ship read “Security and communications deck.” Another line below pointed toward a large gray area and led to an ominous note that said simply - “Testing room?”

“Wait, these look like the old Nihilus III’s,” Finn said, his eyes fixed on the projection of the ship, “But weren’t they administrative ships?”

Rose nodded. “Correct. They seem to have copied the general schematics of the Nihilus design. These are fitted out for exploratory missions and transport. Heavy defenses and mid-grade weapons only.”

_ Strange _ , thought Rey,  _ this doesn’t seem like Kylo Ren’s First Order at all _ . Something about seeing the ship’s projection in front of her, its unimposing facade, its smaller size, the large sections dedicated to personal quarters and recreational activities, gave a sense of reality to the term New Order. This was different.

“But why would they need so many tiny admin ships with no fire power?” asked Ca’i.

Poe’s face had darkened and a spike of focused anger shone in his eyes. He answered, “Because they’re done conquering. Now they’re building an empire.” 

Commander D’Acy leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms and, putting words to the feeling Rey had experienced seeing the ship in front of them, she said “And it appears they’re learning from their past mistakes. No more planet killers. No more central ships. Just a network of thousands, all dedicated to the mission.”

Rose nodded, “As far as we can tell, these ships are being sent out to every system in the galaxy under Imperial control. They appear to be conducting research, transporting people between planets recreationally, and serving administrative functions within the Order.”

Poe let out a frustrated sigh. “This will be great for their image. The Order’s never had trouble with recruitment - forced conscription generally has that effect,” he said with a dark laugh. “But now they can brand themselves as explorers.” He scoffed, “If I were them, I’d be recruiting scientists, philanthropists, the best of society. Sell them a vision of progress and innovation, and hide your dirty work in the bowels of the ship,” he said, pointing to Rose’s note on the Testing Room. 

“My thoughts exactly,” Rose said, nodding. 

Finn leaned forward. “Still no evidence that Scora’s…. _ plan _ has gone into effect?” 

D’Acy shook her head reassuringly. “The reports Ca’i gave Poe this morning are the latest we have. Most of these ships haven’t been deployed yet, and there is still some opposition to the plan within the Order.”

Poe looked at the Commander and gave her an appreciative nod. “So what  _ is _ Scora doing while she waits for the New Order to give in to her plans?”

Commander D’Acy let out a small sigh and continued, “Well, nothing mostly. She attends meetings, reports to work every day, and travels as necessary between the major ships. If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was just a regular cog in the New Order machinery.”

_ This isn’t good news _ , Rey thought to herself. If Scora was able to stay under the radar this well, it meant that she was smarter and more capable than they had prepared for. 

Poe turned to the room, “So how is she pulling off all these disappearances and forced resignations without getting caught? Give me theories. I’ll take any ideas you have.”

Maz placed a hand on her chin and spoke, “If it were me, I’d have a small, covert army of loyal followers to do my work for me while I maintained a nondescript image for myself as a respectable tavern owner,” she said, looking up suddenly, “or New Order employee, you know, theoretically speaking, of course.”

Poe raised an eyebrow, but quickly lowered it. Rey felt his determination. This was too serious for laughs. “Anyone else?” Poe asked the room.

Finn shrugged, “Maybe she’s using the Force on people - to control them?”

“Could be,” replied Commander D’Acy. She sighed, “The problem is, we can’t know anything for sure without having more information. Our comms intel just isn’t cutting it.”

Poe took a deep breath before speaking, “We need to put someone on the inside.” He let the suggestion hagn in the air for a moment, but no one contradicted him. Poe leant forward on the table and looked down at the dusty floor. After a moment, he turned his face up to look at everyone in the room. “I won’t ask this of anyone. You are all too valuable to this team, so I’ll take a volunteer.”

Finn and Rose spoke at the same time, “I’ll do it.”

Poe shook his head gently, “No, you’ve both already been undercover with the First Order. They might recognize you a second time. It’s too risky.”

Finn looked hurt, but he nodded in resignation. 

Lt Connix took a step forward and placed a brief hand on Rose’s arm. “I’ll do it.”

“Alright,” Poe said, “Lt Connix and I will set ourselves up as New Order employees on one of the main ships. But this is gonna take a lot -”

Maz cut him off, “Poe, what do you mean ‘Lt Connix and I’?” She shook her head emphatically, “No, you can’t take this mission.” Although she said it gently, her words were firm. Most in the tent were careful not to overstep Poe’s authority, likely out of a respect for Leia, but Maz didn’t back down from anyone.

Poe’s face showed a flash of annoyance, then he let out a sigh. 

Commander D’Acy spoke, “I have to say I agree with Maz. We need your leadership here.”

The room turned as one as Ca’i spoke up from beside Beaumont, “If you’re concerned about Lt Connix going alone, then let me go with her. I think it will be beneficial to have more than one of us on the mission, and I’ve been around long enough to know a thing or two about the culture within the Order.”

Rey looked over at Poe, who stood near the table, listening intently. He stared at Ca’i for a moment longer, then nodded. “Ok,” he paused. Rey knew it must be killing him inside to allow someone else to go in his place. He continued, “Lt Connix and Threnalli will go undercover to gather intel on Scora Madar. Beaumont, what’s the last hit on Scora’s location?”

Beaumont checked his data pad, then responded, “She’s on a ship called the Querren Observer, near the Truubicant System.”

Poe nodded, “I want you and the Commander to keep constant tabs on her. Next time, you should be able to answer without having to check the datapad. Once we have our people behind enemy lines, we can’t afford to lose any time to uncertainty.”

Beaumont nodded, “Got it, General.” 

_ General _ . The word still made Rey think of Leia. She looked over at Poe. He hadn’t even flinched at the honorific. Standing closer to the table now, his face lit from the side by the holo of the HL-30 Achiever schematics, Poe suddenly looked so much older.  _ Do I look older too? _ , she wondered.

Poe continued, “Alright, let’s get together a plan for this mission. Beaumont, I need you to put together a schedule of Scora’s movements over the last 2 months,” he turned to the holo projection of Maz’s face, “ Maz, Connix and Threnalli are gonna need identifiers, access keys, and backstories.”

“I’m on it,” Maz replied with a nod. She disappeared briefly from the holo and spoke to someone offscreen, “Garran, get Starsi Tille on the line. We’ve got 2 going under - New Order regs.”

Rey looked over at Lt Connix and Ca’i, who now stood together behind Poe as he continued to rattle off orders to the assembled group. There wasn’t a trace of fear on Lt Connix’s face and she stood rigid alongside Ca’i. Threnalli stood causally, but his face showed an apprehensive determination that spoke, not of cowardice, but of his long years working in the Resistance and the heavy knowledge that came with them of how quickly things could go wrong. His look stirred a feeling of awe and guilt within Rey. The two feelings mingled together into an overwhelming sense of unworthiness.

_ What am I even doing here? _ , Rey thought to herself.  _ These people are putting their lives on the line. I failed the Resistance in the past, and now I’ve failed them again, even if they don’t know it.  _ No one had spoken to her in the meeting, and she had had nothing to contribute. Nothing to do except watch her friends put themselves in harm’s way while she sat on the sidelines fumbling and failing with Force powers she couldn’t understand.  _ Why didn’t Ben answer me?  _

“Rey”

Rey turned and saw that the voice had come from Maz. The rest of the Resistance members in the tent were now centered around Rose’s datapad and were strategizing at the other end of the space. Rey walked over to the holo on the end of the table where Maz was visible. 

“I can’t see as well through this screen as I could in person, but you’ve got a look in your eyes that tells me of trouble.”

Rey wanted to tell Maz that she felt helpless, and the kind smile on Maz’s face even made her want to tell her about Ben. But, seeing the rest of the tent still intent upon their planning, she said nothing.

Maz tilted her head, “Don’t forget who you are, Rey. When Han brought you to see me, still just a scruffy girl from Jakku, Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber called out to  _ you _ .”

“I know,” Rey said, “But that was a long time ago now. I killed Palpatine and saved the Jedi. My place in this is over.”

Maz raised her eyebrows intently, “That’s what Luke thought too.” A moment of silence passed, then Maz’s projection leaned slightly toward Rey. “You’ve seen things.” It wasn’t a question. “Luke’s lightsaber showed you visions on Takodano, but you’ve seen more of them too.” 

Rey said nothing.

Maz nodded slowly, “And some of them still haven’t happened yet - Hmm?”

Rey’s pulse quickened. Visions, which she had tried every day to avoid thinking about, came back to her in a rush: a long and dark hallway, Kylo Ren standing before her on a stormy planet with the Knights of Ren assembled behind him, she and Ben seated together on the throne of the Sith. She closed her eyes to drive them away. Opening her eyes again a moment later, she looked at Maz and shook her head. “No, some of them haven’t.”

Maz nodded, “Hmm, I thought so,” she rubbed a hand on her chin, “You can’t hide from your future, Rey. It will find you in the end.”

“Rey!” Finn said, walking over to her from across the tent, “Sorry to interrupt, Maz. Tell Garran I said to watch out for those Bothan singers”, Finn said to Maz with a chuckle. 

Maz responded with a laugh. She turned to Rey, “Think about what I said, Rey” She gave a humorous salute to the both of them before cutting off her holo feed. 

Finn turned back to Rey, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Sure,” Rey said, “What is it?”

“I was wondering if we could start my Jedi training,” said Finn. His hands fidgeted with the blaster at his belt absent-mindedly. “I just can’t stand to sit around here while everyone else is busy fighting Scora. I need to do this, Rey.”

Rey nodded, “I know the feeling. Let’s start tomorrow morning. Meet me out at the training course in the morning.”

Finn’s face took on an expression of hope as he nodded to her, “Ok.”

\----------------------------------------------

A short while later, Rey walked up the path from the landing site toward the living quarters in the darkness of night. The trees around her were loud with the sounds of tree locusts, and the path was lit by lanterns. In the distance, she could see the fires near the comms tent and hear snippets of distant chatter. Rey stepped into the small tent that was reserved for her on Ajan Kloss, Ben’s jacket crumpled tightly under her arm. Getting back to her tent with no one seeing her had not been an easy task. She had run into Beaumont halfway back to camp, but he’d taken her word for it when she passed the jacket off as a blanket. She would have rather left it in the x-wing so that it wouldn’t have to be moved again when she left, but Tala Baize, the resident mechanic, checked all the ships every night, and Rey couldn’t risk her finding the jacket. 

But maybe Rey was worrying too much. With the exception of Finn and Poe, no one here had ever gotten close enough to Ben to really see his clothing. Still, she fastened the tent flap behind her before crouching down to pull out the small crate she kept under her cot. Most of her things had been moved back to Tatooine, but she still had a few items here, most of them related to her Jedi training with Leia. In the wake of Exegol and Leia’s death it had been too painful to think of bringing them away from the planet where she and the General had spent so much time training. 

Kneeling on the floor, she lifted the lid of the crate. Inside were Luke’s Jedi texts, more Jedi books from Leia, a rock that she’d had to practice keeping lifted above her head for hours at a time, and scattered notes that Leia had left her, including a rather unflattering caricature of Luke that Leia had drawn one night as they sat sharing stories around the campfire. Staring down at the drawing, Rey could still see the smile on Leia’s face as she had laughed and laughed talking about Luke in their youth. 

Rey’s eyes moved to Ben’s jacket, which lay in her lap.  _ How had these two people been mother and son? _ Leia’s joy in that moment around the campfire had been pure and genuine, but the pain she must have felt every day knowing that her son had been corrupted by the dark side was unimaginable. It almost felt wrong to place the jacket next to the drawing, but Ben  _ was _ Leia’s son, and Kylo Ren had been a part of him for a time. Light or dark, all these items were a part of the Skywalker family legacy. 

The jacket had gotten crumpled during her hasty storage of it under the seat in her x-wing. She held it up in front of her, staring at it blankly, her emotions unreadable, even to herself. She laid it down on the floor in front of her and gently folded it, then placed it in the crate atop the stack of Leia’s writings. She held the lid with one hand, ready to close it, but stopped. The jacket looked ugly and out of place next to Luke’s books. Moving quickly, she took out Leia’s drawing, placed it on top of the jacket, and closed the lid. She slid the crate back under her bed and began to get ready to sleep for the night. 

She leaned her staff against the single chair that sat at the foot of her cot. She sat down on the chair heavily and pulled off her boots, leaving them where they fell. Reaching up, she undid her hair and carried the hair ties over to place them on top of the crate that served as the room’s only table. She brushed her hair and took off the outer layers of her clothes. The nights on Ajan could get cold, but the recent rain had left a hot humidity in the air, so her small clothes would do for sleepwear tonight. 

Rey lay in her cot, staring up at the tents ceiling, which hung completely still in the hot air. There was no breeze to break the humidity tonight. Maz’s words echoed in her mind.  _ You can’t hide from your future, Rey. It will find you in the end _ . Rey let out a sigh and placed her hand over her eyes. 

The vision of she and Ben on the Sith throne played out for the hundredth time in her memory. The cold stone of the throne beneath her. An immense sense of power, terrifying in its magnitude. And Ben, seated next to her. He turned to look at her. 

The scene repeated over and over again in her mind without end. After a long while, she finally drifted off the sleep….

The vision came to her again, the same vision she’d been trying to get out of head for months _. She was on the Sith throne again. But this time it was different. She sat, leaning forward, her hands gripping the hard rock that made up the arms of the throne. Her fingertips were hot, and she knew she had just used lightning. Ben lay before her, sprawled out on the ground, his eyes closed, his face ashen and pale. A residual bolt of lightning crackled up his arm and skittered off the ground by his head. Staring at his face, she noticed that he was bathed in a blue glow. She looked up. Finn stood facing her with his lightsaber raised, his face twisted into a mask of raw hatred. He took a step toward her and she screamed, throwing up her hands.  _

_ Everything grew white and she shut her eyes against the harsh light. She opened them. She sat again on the Sith throne. This time, the vision was as she'd remembered it before. She sat on the throne of the Sith, her back resting against the cool stone. She turned her head to the left and saw Ben seated beside her. His hair had gray in it, and his eyes were tired. He looked over at her and smiled. Everything went dark. _

_ She opened her eyes once more, but everything around her was filled with a nothingness darker than the recesses of space. All around her, she could hear whispers. She knew this place. It was the same place she’d come to when looking into the holo map at Tosche Station, the same place she’d seen while meditating on Tatooine. The same place she’d come to almost every night since Exegol. Why was this place haunting her? _

_ The whispers were faint, and she struggled to make out what they were saying. She heard something move to her right. She spun in the nothingness, but saw only more blackness.  _

_ “.... Rey?” The voice spoke hesitantly. Her breathing stopped. She knew that voice, and without thinking, she responded. “Ben?” _

She awoke with a start. She looked down at her hands, still able to feel the heat of the lightning on her fingertips. She scrambled out of bed and pulled out the crate from beneath her cot. Throwing open the lid, Leia’s picture rustled with the rush of the sudden movement, and Ben’s jacket appeared beneath it, still neatly folded from the night before. 

She stared at it for a long moment, unsure of what she had expected. She closed the lid of the crate again and slid it back into its place beneath the cot. 

  
As she got dressed for the day, she expected her mind to be racing with thoughts, but only one thought kept circling through her mind again and again -  _ Where is Ben? _


End file.
